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Today I realized that sometimes I can be quite judgmental. I don't mean to be, but often I respond to a situation without stepping back and really thinking it through. This judgment has affected the way that I relate to my partner. I'll start by saying that he's a wonderful partner, and a great parent. However, we're very different people, and we don't always come from the same place in approaching situations. This is particularly true with parenting. Often, he will respond to a situation in a way other than the way that I would. I may not agree with his response, but at the core of it, I know that he has our son's best interest at heart. When I react, I often do not acknowledge that this is true. These instantaneous reactions tend to be laden with judgment and lacking trust, and do not come from a place of loving partnership. I've learned that I have to step back and trust that he loves our son and is doing the best that he can with the tools that he has. While I can be honest about when and why I disagree, and suggest alternative methods and tools, it is imperative to remember that we are partners, and my responses should always be loving and not insulting or degrading.
Later in the day, I sat my son, Amani, in his walker and gave him a cup of water. Soon after, he discovered that banging the cup can make the water come out! By the time I saw what he was doing, there was water all over him, his walker, and the floor. Instinctively, I grabbed the cup from him and ran in the kitchen to get paper towels so that I could clean up his "mess." Then I stopped and asked myself, Why am I so worked up? It's only water! He's having a great time splashing the water, it's not hurting anyone, and I can always clean it up when he's done! I realized that, even though I am letting go of many of my hangups around the way that he should and shouldn't "behave", I still have some work to do. But, I'm so proud of myself for getting it in the moment before I ruined all his fun!! **patting myself on the back**
1 comment:
You are not alone in these feelings. It is acknowledging the fact that you have a partner and you both have the right to make parental decisions-Not Just You! We as Pope's have this thing that we are right at all times and our raising techniques is the way to go. (I'm sure many Pope's will comment on this when I'm done.-because we are very bold individuals!)In my home, it's love God (he's always there), love yourself, love your partner, love your family, and love your friends. I love the fact that you are so honest in your writing. It helps others realize that we are human and we are not perfect. And for Amani, (God's greatest gift to the world), he's going to be alright with the loving parents that he has. Continue to love each other! I love you guys!
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