Things I've Learned Lately (from my Myspace blog)

• If you open yourself up to the universe and ask it for help, chances are it just might come through.
• When there are things that I can never seem to get around to doing, it usually means I shouldn't do them.
• I don't really know or trust my body, and it's unfortunate.  This is probably why I have issues with eating healthy.
• Sometimes we have to come full circle a few times before we realize that this is where we need to be.
• I have some deprogramming to do as relates to dealing with children (my own and other people's), but knowing is half the battle :).
• I'm a writer.  Always have been and always will be.  No need to keep dancing around it.
• Amani's an incredible little boy.  He amazes me everyday, mostly because he never does what I expect him to, and I never expect what he does.  Maybe I should stop expecting altogether.
• The less attention I give to the little short-term things, the more I get to enjoy the big long-term things.
• What's mine is for me and me alone.  Comparing myself to others is futile.
• Life is not a game to be played, but it is what you make it.  I plan on making mine spectacular.

Love.

Reflecting and Reassessing. . .

I've been reading alot and reassessing the way that I think about and relate to children.  I've joined a number of unschooling yahoo groups, and the concepts are so powerful.  This has caused me to also reflect on the way that I relate to other people in my life.

Today I realized that sometimes I can be quite judgmental.  I don't mean to be, but often I respond to a situation without stepping back and really thinking it through.  This judgment has affected the way that I relate to my partner.  I'll start by saying that he's a wonderful partner, and a great parent.  However, we're very different people, and we don't always come from the same place in approaching situations.  This is particularly true with parenting.  Often, he will respond to a situation in a way other than the way that I would.  I may not agree with his response, but at the core of it, I know that he has our son's best interest at heart.  When I react, I often do not acknowledge that this is true.  These instantaneous reactions tend to be laden with judgment and lacking trust, and do not come from a place of loving partnership.  I've learned that I have to step back and trust that he loves our son and is doing the best that he can with the tools that he has.  While I can be honest about when and why I disagree, and suggest alternative methods and tools, it is imperative to remember that we are partners, and my responses should always be loving and not insulting or degrading.

Later in the day, I sat my son, Amani, in his walker and gave him a cup of water.  Soon after, he discovered that banging the cup can make the water come out!  By the time I saw what he was doing, there was water all over him, his walker, and the floor.  Instinctively, I grabbed the cup from him and ran in the kitchen to get paper towels so that I could clean up his "mess."  Then I stopped and asked myself, Why am I so worked up?  It's only water!  He's having a great time splashing the water, it's not hurting anyone, and I can always clean it up when he's done!  I realized that, even though I am letting go of many of my hangups around the way that he should and shouldn't "behave", I still have some work to do.  But, I'm so proud of myself for getting it in the moment before I ruined all his fun!!  **patting myself on the back**

Welcome to my blog!!

listen children

keep this in the place

you have for keeping

always

keep it all ways

we have never hated black

listen

we have been ashamed

hopeless tired mad

but always

all ways

we loved us

we have always loved each other

children all ways

pass it on

-- "listen children" by lucille clifton

i have been compelled to express my thoughts, feelings, experiences and observations through writing.  i am thrilled to be able to share this, my keeping place, with you.  i hope that something you find here, some idea, some lesson, is useful enough for you to tuck away always in the place you have for keeping.

pass it on.